It's not depression, mind you. Just stupor. Many of you probably are familiar with the feeling. It's like you're plugging along below the waterline, muddling through life. You're not feeling sorry for yourself, but--since the aquatic life is all you know--that's all you end up experiencing.
And then, one day, you break through the surface, see the sun, sky, stars, and realize what all you were missing. Sure, roast sea cucumber is all well and good, but why eat that when you could be chowing down on grilled albatross? (actually, I hear sea birds are generally of a stringy consistency, so maybe that's not such a good analogy)
Granted, there's something to be said for just plugging along. We would probably be nervous wrecks if our lives resembled The Lord of the Rings or a Jane Austin flick. Yeah, that's probably an understatement. Having a gaggle of orcs barge into a board meeting is enough to put a fellow on edge.
It's true. And I, for one, like getting a fair amount of consistency out of life. Consistency is easier to deal with. Getting up to go to work five days a week, making sure my weekends are the antithesis of wild and crazy, keeping friends who are sane. These are things that make me happy.
Unfortunately, they've also caused me to have a sort of stupor or mechanical indifference to life. And--of course--I would never have realized this without change.
Hopefully, my last post didn't come across as blasphemous or cavalier, as that wasn't my intention. But my spiritual life--much as my physical life--has been a bit apathetic over the past few years. Not a falling away from the faith or independence from God, but a rut of status quo. It took meeting an old friend with a vibrant faith to wake me up and start the work of ending my spiritual somnolence.
The job offer that went through yesterday was yet another bombshell to the fuddy-duddiness of life. I've been in college for six years, and had settled into a pattern of mediocrity and indifference. The situation climaxed in October, which caused me to drop out of grad school, which forced me to begin the search for full-time work. Starting January 3rd, the honeymoon with academia ends and the dance with professionalism begins.
In short, it feels like someone put some cheyenne pepper in my hookah. Or... like I've ingested one of Jeeves's concoctions for overcoming hangovers. "... What they consist of, I couldn't tell you. He says some kind of sauce, the yolk of a raw egg and a dash of red pepper, but nothing will convince me that the thing doesn't go deeper than that."
Ahem.
Another image that came to mind is Col. Stamp Proctor from the 1956 film adaption of Around the World in 80 Days. That man knew how to break a fellow's reverie. Seriously, insulting a Brit's love of Whist will work every time. You might even get a pistol duel out of the deal.
All this to say, eat more albatross and less sea cucumber. I think that was the point. Maybe.
All this to say, eat more albatross and less sea cucumber. I think that was the point. Maybe.
Until next time,
- Daniel
When you're out slaying dragons, or crossing wits with Mr. Darcy or Elizabeth Bennet, don't forget the rest of us who have a few years of chewing on sea cucumber ahead. ;) We hope to be along shortly.
ReplyDelete