Cookies

A glass of water can say a lot about your perspective on life. If it's half-full, you're a bodacious individual who needs a pressure gauge to keep optimism from bubbling out your ears. If it's half-empty, your closest friend is a deep-sea ganglion and your only comfort in life is that one day he'll be big enough to swallow both you and your misery.

But, face it, water is an inherently limited medium for the barometer of personality. I'm here to suggest a much better alternative.

Cookies.

Cookies are extremely heterogeneous. They can be made of sugar, spice, and everything nice--or frogs, snails, and puppy dog tails. The latter may not sound appetizing, but neither were the mud cookies you made as a confectionary-crazy kid.

So, what exactly does a cookie say about your personality? The possibilites are endless, so I'll just focus on a few:

Oatmeal Raisin

You're... well... a kind of boring individual. If you go out to lunch with your friends, you'll be the one at the salad bar. When you get home from work, you'll be the one out for a jog through the neighborhood and early to bed while the rest of your compatriots are at a rock concert. But, hey, there are perks to a boring life--you'll probably be ice skating at age 75 while the rest of your acquaintances are constrained to walkers.

Chocolate Chip

You're a justifier. You try to counterbalance every negative with a positive. If you faceplant on the sidewalk while learning how to ride a unicycle, you switch and learn braille instead while the surgeons are reconstructing your face. If you tend to be a bit of a firebug, you request that your community service hours be spent at the local fire department. On the other hand, at least you're worthy to have the word "exciting" etched on your tombstone.

Snickerdoodle

You're a manipulator. You know that nobody would agree to going on a 100 mile ultramarathon through the wilderness, so you ask if they'll go on a fast day-hike with you instead. When the pastor asks you to assemble the church directory, you proceed to oversee the whole operation and delegate all the work to others. Change the name, increase the attractiveness of the proposal. That's your motto. You should be a politician.

Fortune Cookie

You're deceptive. You don't care about getting cookies to eat them any more than you care about going to the library to read books. Nobody knows what's really going on behind your baby blues, because you've always got so many angles. If you have friends with a good sense of humor, you'll be getting a lot of protractors for Christmas.

Hey, at least it's not coal.

Until next time,

- Daniel