There are--currently--200,000 beavers in the region. So, this attempt either succeeded or failed spectacularly, depending on your point of view.
The moral of the story? Be careful what you wish for. You might just get it.
The irony--to me at least--is how "well-meaning" can so easily translate to "disastrous". I mean, think of those poor furry creatures, almost made extinct in North America due to overzealous fur traders. Why, the heart breaks to think of it.
Unfortunately, introducing a non-native species was a really stupid way to extend the olive branch.
Now, I've a much better idea for extending an offer of peace to those semi-aquatic rodents. And... believe it or not, this blog is the solution.
You see, as with most blogs, this one collects statistics about those who visit the site. It can detect browsers, number of visits, and even the last link visited before coming here. And... not even kidding... one of those links is getdentalimplantsinfo.com.
Clearly, part of my audience is elderly beavers who are looking for a set of new choppers. And--as we all know from the social security fiasco--this demographic can be extremely influential if wooed in the proper way.
Okay. So, these Tierra del Fuego beavers have a problem. Government persecution is getting intense, and they're starting to run out of trees. Sure, they could migrate north into the South American mainland, but South American rainforests are known for their hardwood. To a Beaver with chopper problems--this is an untenable solution.
My solution? Welcome them back home to North America with open arms. Evergreens are a nice soft wood, and we're drowning in them. With the lumber industry on ice, we have a serious problem. Homeowners are losing scenic views and property value by the inch. I know--personally--that Mt. Hood disappeared from our view about five years ago and hasn't reappeared.
So, come back ye beavers. We're sorry for the past sins of our fur trading brethren, and wish to extend the fir branch of peace. (because extending a branch of hard olive wood to toothless beavers is a serious faux pas).
Until next time,
- Daniel
You see, as with most blogs, this one collects statistics about those who visit the site. It can detect browsers, number of visits, and even the last link visited before coming here. And... not even kidding... one of those links is getdentalimplantsinfo.com.
Clearly, part of my audience is elderly beavers who are looking for a set of new choppers. And--as we all know from the social security fiasco--this demographic can be extremely influential if wooed in the proper way.
Okay. So, these Tierra del Fuego beavers have a problem. Government persecution is getting intense, and they're starting to run out of trees. Sure, they could migrate north into the South American mainland, but South American rainforests are known for their hardwood. To a Beaver with chopper problems--this is an untenable solution.
My solution? Welcome them back home to North America with open arms. Evergreens are a nice soft wood, and we're drowning in them. With the lumber industry on ice, we have a serious problem. Homeowners are losing scenic views and property value by the inch. I know--personally--that Mt. Hood disappeared from our view about five years ago and hasn't reappeared.
So, come back ye beavers. We're sorry for the past sins of our fur trading brethren, and wish to extend the fir branch of peace. (because extending a branch of hard olive wood to toothless beavers is a serious faux pas).
Until next time,
- Daniel
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