Hindsight

I promise not to gripe.

...or scowl.

...or throw things around the room.

But I just read the most amazing synonymistic description (yes, I realize that's not a word) of hindsight ever on Wikipedia. It's dubbed the "knew-it-all-along effect".

Things are generally clear and cuddly in hindsight. That's why we sugarcoat things like political history ("when I was a boy"), our mental capabilities ("I knew it takes an hour to drive 60 miles at 60 miles-per-hour. You just didn't give me enough hours to crunch the figures."), and our level of maturity ("Licking ice-coated metal? Who knew, right?").

And, as far as I'm concerned, you are welcome to inflate (or deflate... who am I to judge?) your perception of the past as much as you like.

But... please.

(I'm on hands and knees here.)

Don't play Prophetic History with other people's pasts.

Because, honestly, when Joe Shmo retrospectively prophesies your concrete faceplant, there's only one appropriate response.

WELL GENIUS, WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP ME?

(Sorry about the yelling)

And face it. If you're one of those people blessed with clairvoyance, see impending doom, and do nothing to stop it, you're liable for damages.

You've been warned.

I was once accused of possessing mental telepathy. It was at a Bible quiz meet back in highschool. I was on the stage with my teammates... both girls... who I was desperately trying to impress. We had our hands on a buzzer. Press to buzz and answer the question.

I won't lie. I'm slow as molasses. So, in lieu of signaling the normal way, I pushed the button a full two seconds before the announcer started reciting the question.

BUZZ

He paused for five very dramatic seconds, then called my bluff...

"Unless Team 5 has the gift of ESP (we were being quizzed on the fruits of the Spirit), I'm going to repeat the question."

He had me.

In hindsight, maybe I should have stalled by quoting pi until my heavenly pingback returned.

...or not.

Keep smiling,
- Daniel