Flatirons

The Flatirons are rock formations near the already-high town of Boulder, CO. They are neither flat nor iron, but I won't belabor the point. Instead, they chew you up and spit you out, making you feel like you were hit by the flat of an iron, so perhaps they deserve their name after all.

All this to say, I went on a hiking expedition today. I've never seen a natural sandstone arch in my 24 years of existence, and there's a 40-foot beauty in the Flatirons known as the Royal Arch.

I've never been much a fan of topo maps. Distance is what rocks my boat. I saw a distance of 3.5 miles round trip and strapped on my Merrells.

Never mind that you gain 1750 feet of elevation in 1.75 miles. Details like these slay empires.

I also don't recommend doing the barefoot or minimalist thing in the Flatirons. There are lots of rocks, most of them sharp, all of them hostile. If they don't bruise your heel, they'll trip you up and make you crush your head.

All to say, I'm half-convinced that the word for 'serpent' in Genesis 3 actually refers to fist-sized chunks of sandstone. But I'm no scholar.

Moan and groan, I may, but if you ever find yourself in Boulder and have nothing else to do, see this. It is awesome. Of course, if you've already been to Arches National Park in Utah, never-mind. I'll just turn all kinds of green, because that's on my list of must-go-to-places-before-I-die-in-50-years.

But yes, in this glorious world bereft of oneupmanship, I can say with a clear conscience that I've never seen any rock sculpture quite like what I saw today. If you want to talk about 100 foot arches, double arches, and arches with curlicues, I will listen with open ears and a bleeding heart.

(And yes, that picture is totally of the Royal Arch. And no, that is totally not me in the foreground. If I ever look like I'm about to enter a Stargate, shoot me before I do. Nothing good can come of it.)

Until next time,
- Daniel