Flashy Flier

You're going to want to buy one of these. Hours and hours of fun, no moving parts, a veritable smorgasbord of fun.

What am I talking about? I'm talking about the Flashy Flier. It's a toy that can travel at speeds of 30 miles-per-hour through the air, meaning loads of blunt-force trauma potential. But it's made of plastic, so it's not lethal. Usually.

This little trinket is so versatile, it will change your life. You can play catch with it, golf with it, or hunt with it. I'm neither jesting nor boasting. 3 in 1 deals don't get any better than this.

This gizmo practically sells itself. There's no need to use SCREAMING CAPS, price it at Nine dollars and Ninety-Nine cents, or wear tweed while making your sales pitch. Every household in America (and possibly the Milky Way galaxy) needs one of these... and maybe two (for when your cat has the same epiphany that you're about to have and steals yours).

How do I know that you need this? I have tEsTiMoNiAlS from v-e-r-y satisfied Customers.

I call my Flashy Flier the whiz-bang from heaven, and sometimes Thor's hammer. Some days, when I'm bored and have nothing else to do, I'll play catch with myself. It's awesome. You throw it up, up, up, and it comes down, down, down, and if you don't catch it, you get a bruise or a black eye or a notched tooth. I can't recommend it enough. I'd give it two thumbs up, but the chronic arthritis in my right hand is making that a little hard right now. 

~ Kari

Look through the bandages and head gauze, and you'll see Bob, a deliriously happy owner of a Flashy Flier. You can hardly keep him away from his spinning contraption. Hours on hours he would spend throwing it up in the air, squinting against the sun as it came down again. So enthralled, is Bob, that we have to keep him strapped to his bed. His rehab ends in 6 months, at which point--I'm sure--he'll be right back at 'em.

~ Scott (on behalf of Bob, who is indisposed at the moment)

Hey, when they say the Flashy Flier is awesome for hunting, they mean it. I'm a crotchety home owner of 83, and own three of these little gadgets. When the neighborhood kids start messing with the pink flamingos on my lawn, I'm out and flinging before you can say knife. No permanent damage, and a better deterrent than bear spray or taser. I've earned the nickname Grouchy Gramps, and mean to keep it.

~ Gerhard

The testimonies speak for themselves, so I won't belabor the point. Get your Flashy Flier today!

On another, unrelated, topic--a good hard game of frisbee keep-away can make you feel as though you've been mauled by a grizzly after getting run over by a lawn mower. Just a word to the wise.

Until next time,
- Daniel