Perfect Matches

Cute couples. They're everywhere. And boy, do people like to talk about them. Unfortunately, there's a certain phrase that really bugs me. It goes like this:

"Aren't they the perfect couple!"

(Better hold on to your Mexican jumping beans)

Perfect implies completeness and wholeness. Without faults. In my mind, it's like two granite blocks fitting together without mortar. Like the ancient pyramids. Yes, the Egyptians were Perfection Personified (rogue frogs and bearded, staff-wielding dudes aside).

This is what flows through my mind when well-meaning people start jawing about the perfect couple:

Sappy, right? Wouldn't I like to get a load of their reality field. Perfect, smooth granite blocks indeed. (Brown granite at that. Think on that one for awhile.)

No, dear friends, most "perfect" couples are more like this:

You've heard it said that friendships are hard work. But they don't hold a candle to romantic relationships. Put aside that 100 grit sandpaper. That's not the tool you're looking for.

Try dynamite.

...or prayer. Tons and tons of TNT-loaded prayer.

I think I've been hardwired to think that once you find the person of your dreams, the rest is ooshy gooshy happiness and canned unicorn meat. You know the hardship is out there... somewhere... but it's like a mirage in the desert. It never seems to get any closer.

Then you hit day #2, and realize the unicorn meat is closer to cat food. And believe me, it takes one heck of a good gourmet chef to make it work. It can. Think sushi or wasabi; it's not a natural "love at first sight" experience (and maybe never).

Couples of unusual perfectness? I don't believe they exist.

Until next time,
- Daniel