Upscale Eating

I've never been much of an upscale eater. Spending more than $15 on a single meal doesn't... usually... happen. Still, being on my own in Washington with nothing better to do, I decided to go undercover and double that figure.

Granted, this is small fry in a world where $100+ meals aren't uncommon affairs. Little matter that you could feed yourself at McDonalds for a month on that sum. (The question of whether that's a good idea is a different question altogether. There's more than one documentary on the subject, so I'll let you ponder the theological implications of supersizing later.)

Regardless, I think we can agree, $30, $100, or $1000, restaurants that save ink by rounding all prices to the nearest dollar are in a different class than the Dairy Queen around the corner. It's a class where the food is more an attraction than a means to an end. A class where style and service are more important than bang-for-the-buck.

One day, when I've made my fortune selling toothpicks and programming toasters, these indulgences may make more sense. Until then, I'm content to indulge once for the street cred. (yes, I have been forced to tip more than $5 on a meal.)

Thus is posed the question. What exactly does $30 get you at a mid-scale restaurant? In the spirit of humorists of old, here goes...

What you get...	Downside...
Darker ambiance	Harder to find your salad
More attentive servers	They never go away
Unlimited refills	You will float out the door
Gourmet recipes	Enough spices to kill a cockroach
All-black staff uniforms	Collisions are inevitable
Expensive decor	$12,000 fish mounted to wall

Do the pros outweigh the cons? While you're deciding, I'll be making my way to a pack of Dentyne Ice to sooth my hyperactive taste buds...

Until next time,
- Daniel