The Long Run

Some people say that long runs are very "Zen", whatever that means. This amuses me. For background, Zen is a major school of Buddhism, originating in 12th century China, and emphasizes enlightenment through meditation and insight.

This is bizarre. Truly. The only enlightenment you'll get during a long run is through pain and self-flagellation. At least--that's the conclusion I came to during my 20-mile run yesterday. And honestly, the enlightenment you glean has nothing to do with a higher spiritual plane. It has everything to do with your nervous system.

Some define running as the love of pain. This is disingenuous. There are two types of pain. First, there's the this-is-broken type pain and then there's the this-will-break-if-you-keep-it-up-much-longer type of pain.

Long runs belong to that second school of thought. They're an arm-wrestling match between self-preservation and a desire for betterment. These two ideals are at war, and--unfortunately--you have to listen to both of them. If you let the betterment side win, you'll end up in a ditch at the side of the road. If you let the self-preservation side win, a whole lot of bathroom scales (and potato chips) are gonna die.

If this sounds like a hard balancing act to pull off, you're right. Essentially, whenever the war gets a little lopsided, you have to allow the losing team to call in a complimentary A-10 strike. After my long runs, I typically give my self-preservation team an all-expense-paid vacation to Disneyland. It has the same effect.

I don't care if you're on speaking terms with your body. Even the best body has the right to know why you're subjecting it to torture. If you don't reply, it'll take your nervous system hostage and kill it one neuron at a time.

And even if you do reply, there's no guarantee that it won't try to kill you. The second tier of defense is pacification. Dry socks, moleskin, and gatorade are all excellent olive branches. But even this approach has failed me in the past.

The final tactic is the A-10 strike I mentioned earlier. Even if the cost of a massage or triple-scoop ice cream cone isn't normally something you'd absorb... let me assure you... when you're in the middle of that final training run before your marathon, you'll promise yourself things that you wouldn't normally promise yourself.

The good thing is that over time, your body trusts you more. It allows you to do things that--just starting out--would have been grounds for a firing squad or being buried alive in a termite mound. Don't abuse that trust, and you'll end up a faster, fitter human being.

Viva la vida!

Until next time,
- Daniel