In fact, a better title might be "Why I'm Considering Leaving Facebook", but as you all know, false advertising is the best way to get noticed in the blogosphere, so be it. (Besides. I might actually be serious. Who knows?)
Reason #1:
The first reason is social connectedness. No... wait... nevermind. I've got three e-mail addresses, a blog, an HSA account, LinkedIn account, YouTube account, etc. ad. infinitum. Clearly I'm connected outside of Facebook. Let me reiterate that one...
...the problem is an overabundance of social connectivity. My ability to focus is shot. I'm as finicky as a gerbil, as tense as a male black widow being stalked by the big kahuna of lady black widows. When I get up in the morning, I check Facebook. Before I brush my teeth at night, I check Facebook (which I sometimes do in lieu of brushing my teeth. Frightened now?).
This goes on during the day too. I'll be sitting on the couch, doing my homework, when ping! I spot "Facebook (1)" in the open Facebook tab in my browser... or "Gmail - Inbox (1)" if the Facebook tab is closed. The moment is ruined, my schoolwork is set aside, and I find myself viewing the latest social news in slack-jawed ecstacy.
I've tried to set the distraction aside for a period of time. Say, one month so I could write a novel or three months so I could finish a semester of school. To borrow a phrase from Solomon: "Absolutely pointless!" says the spokesman. "Everything is pointless!"*
It's not that you can't be a student and a Facebook afficiado at the same time. For me, however, this arrangement doesn't work. This is reason #1.
Reason #2:
The next problem is communication in an online context. It's all monotone. When reading this sentence, you have no idea if I'm in a jovial mood, upset mood, or downright crazy mood. About the only vocal characteristic that can be experienced online is SCREAMING! (n.b. If you're a woman, you may be able to read between the lines, so I apologize in advance for my extreme simplication of the problem.)
As a man, I instinctively compensate for the lack of tone by using emoticons. You know. :-) for happy, :-D for really happy, and }:-D for fiendishly happy. This has been a slow and gradual progression. I recently perused my recent postings and found that approximately 95% of them were accompanied by ;-) (code for kidding, humor, and/or light sarcasm).
Now, whenever I post something without an accompanying smiley face, I feel it comes across as dead-pan robot seriousness. This is no good. I MUST REVOLT! I must prove that plain text CAN BE HAPPY TEXT!!! }:-D.
...but seriously...
This is all rubbish of course. Emoticons are fine. Bolded and italicized text is fine. Even screaming caps are... :wince:... fine in moderation.
The problem is that, for me, Facebook doesn't lend itself to the kind of communication I want to have with my friends. Long conversations about important topics don't usually happen, and when they do, the monotonic nature of text can render passionate discourse as something else entirely (hate, acid-spewing rhetoric, dark works of foreboding from the abyss, etc...). As a creature of sarcasm, this is a problem for me.
Reason #3:
The last problem I'm going to address is self-affirmation. Self-affirmation is where I post a status update such as: "I did terrible on my midterm today!", and (preferably many) other people comment on my status with posts such "Awwww... :-(" and "You'll do better next time!". (a few nefarious individuals might dare to 'like' such a status, but these people are of the same ilk as "Gru" of "Despicable Me", and are therefore irrelevant to this conversation).
What's the problem with self-affirmation? Nothing! It's just like social connectedness, which is also harmless... in moderation. However, when you become offended that only two out of 216 friends liked your status, or jealous that a comment on your status was liked more times than the status itself, this is a problem.
A friend once confessed that he used to do nice things for people with the sole purpose of getting self-affirmation for these deeds on Facebook. I'm getting there, and it frightens me. In fact, I'm getting to the point where I feel a bit depressed if I open Facebook after a 24-hour period and there aren't any updates in my notification box. It's like nobody cares about me. :wimpers:
So yes, the self-affirmation has to go away for a little while. I've always felt that a good 'ol case of plantar fasciitis or lliotibial band syndrome was painful, but supermodel syndrome is worse. Definitely didn't have that when I was living in a bat cave pre-Facebook.
Conclusion:
So, these are three reasons why I'm considering leaving Facebook. There are others. I might do a follow-up post or three if there's interest. This is actually fun. Hey, I've been on Facebook for almost three years, what's another few weeks?
By the way, if I do decide to go off the social grid permanently, you can still stay in touch. I'm serious. If I've friended you on Facebook, you have earned the right to ask for my e-mail. Even if you're not tagged in this note, you have the right. Even if you haven't known me for very long, or met me in person, you have the right. Even if you're... :gasp:... a girl, you have the right, and I won't even look at you strange.
I check my e-mail seriously, treat it seriously, and reply to it seriously. The phone... is another matter... I'm scared of that thing. Use e-mail. If the monotone starts getting you down, you have two options: 1) talk with me live and in person. 2) ask me to throw in some emoticons, which come complimentary with the above e-mail offer. I don't do screaming caps though, so don't ask.
Ciao.
NOTES:
*GOD'S WORD Translation (1995)
No comments:
Post a Comment