Writing this sentence makes me feel like a digital Rip Van Winkle. Six years since the last post? Damn.
Life has happened. Things have transpired. Stuff has accumulated.
I'm feeling itchy. A bit more stressed. Less patient. But also more comfortable with myself.
There's this idea in finance called Fuck-You Money. If you're financially secure, people can't tell you to do stuff you don't want to do. You do things because you want to do them, not because you need a paycheck.
I don't have fuck-you money, but age comes with social benefits that are freakishly similar.
In my 20's I cared about what other people thought. If people told me to jump, I jumped. I wanted what other people wanted for me. There was no sense of self.
Now I'm in my 30's. I still care what other people think, but I care what I think more. I'm prioritizing my own happiness over others' expectations.
It's lonely sometimes. Seeking approval makes you part of the in-crowd. But you lose the power to do things your own way.
Believe me, it's weird to hear myself talk this way. The dude who wrote the last blog post is looking for the alien in the body suit. But it feels good to say these things too.
Am I a flawed human? 100%
Will caring less about what other people think turn me into a huge jackass? Possibly.
But there are also benefits with seeing the real me. I can assess where I'm at and where I want to be. The sooner I get real with myself, the sooner I can find my tribe on this planet I call home.
Last year I took a course on Psychological Resilience. The big thing you learn is to not point fingers at yourself. There's always a path forward. We aren't stuck being the person we are today. Slow down, figure out what you want, and plot a path to get there.
Things are about to get real with the dust bunnies behind the 'fridge.
Until next time,
- Daniel
